Merry Blog and a Happy Blog Blog

I finished my Christmas shopping yesterday (during work obviously), but not before I bought a bunch of needless shit for myself. I got some great gifts for my family this year, mainly because I feel bad about my performance last year. I gave Kevin a half bottle of vodka, that I think Charissa had left at my apartment one night. Now I thought that was a pretty sweet gift for a college kid, but he was all angry and refused to give me my present. He says it was really good, but I still don't think he bought me anything. Anyway, point is, I drank the rest of that vodka and I had a merry little christmas.
We got a bunch of letters this week from Christian fanatics bitching about how offended they are that people use the term "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas". These people are retarded. Really, who gives a fuck what people say? Get a life. Fox News reports about this "War on Christmas" everyday now. Personally, I think it's absolutely disgusting that they refer to this garbage as a "war." There are soldiers dying every day in real war, you know, one where people try to kill each other, not where crazy religious freaks get all riled about non-sense. Sorry, I just had to release some anger on that one...
I think my editor has realized that he made a mistake by giving me off next week when I really have no right to be. But that bitch is locked in now. I've been working my ass off the past couple of days, basically because I needed to churn out enough stories to fill two weeks worth of papers, but come tomorrow afternoon, I'm getting the fuck out. Plan is to hit up Atlantic City tomorrow and stay over at Resorts with Sean and Bobby who are driving down. Room was only $60 which is pretty ridiculous. I might just move into the casino next year when my lease is up. It'd probably be cheaper. Oh, and Dr. G will be right next door in the Showboat with his friends. I've got some work to finish up tonight but by this time tomorrow, I will be at the poker table, hopefully taking a lot of money from old dudes.
My last post was so damn long I forgot to mention the good ole' oyster roast p^2. Basically, Preston's brother law lives in Richmond and a bunch of us went to his house to drink expensive liquor and hangout with 30 other dudes. P^2's dad was wearing these hillbilly overalls and looked as if he had been at the bottom of the river a couple hours ago harvesting the oysters himself. Oh, and he also called Preston a pussy when he refused to eat a raw oyster covered in tabasco sauce. Preston eventually gave in to the peer pressure, and ate the damn thing, but now he has eight different diseases, including syphilis. No girls were allowed at the party, although you did get the sense a couple strippers were going to show up at any second and start spanking each other. They probably arrived right after we left.

Here's Preston's guest blog debut (from an email):

"If you're going to mention P-squared's at some point, here's a nice follow-up story you can write as your own or attribute to me. Consider it to be like a press release....At about 10:30 p.m. Saturday night, my mother at home receives a call from a guy asking for Tiffany (my sister). Mother tells the guy she doesn't live there anymore. Conversation over. Minutes later, a second call comes in, same guy, same request, same answer. My mother, in what I consider an unbelievable brief clash with modern genius, dials *69 to see who this meanie is calling her so late. My sister's home number comes up.So, mother calls the number and the guy answers. The conversation is as follows, which I was told by her at church Sunday night:
Mother: "Are you the dumbass who has been calling my house?"
Guy: "Yes. We're in the cold and Paul (my bro-in-law) is in the house and won't let us in."
Mother: "Who are you?"
Guy: "I'm too embarrassed to tell."
And it's over.Preston's guess: It was P-Squared having some fun with his old in-laws. I kind of hope I'm right, in a this-will-make-Xmas-dinner-a-lot-more-fun kind of way."
I've got some packing to get to, but I first wanted to give a heartfelt thanks to all my blogfans. After a few bumps in the road, this blog has really taken off. I now have almost 100 more hits than John's blog and lets be honest, embarrasing him is the main reason I keep up with this thing.
I leave you with this, an e-mail a VCU journalism student sent to his professor at 1:30 am after a recent snow day:

Well, Mr. Gilligan...
You waterheaded scallywag soggy-bottomed jerk... I normally write my papers around 5:00 so I have two hours to get it finished for class So, when I checked the hotline sometime prior to 5:00 and it said no class, I decided to play around in the snow and have fun and celebrate. Now that I come home and see your dickhead e-mail about turning in a paper, I'm going to try and do something about it, but really it just leaves a lingering taste of "Gregory Gilligan is an ass to the fifteenth power, and he uses spoiled eggs for toilet paper" in my mouth, you know... I mean, jesus, seriously, it's a snow day. Dick. And you already had us turning in a completely unreasonable amount of work this week anyway. If I could choke you with my mind, I would. I hope somebody sends you a christmas fruitcake, and you accidentally castrate yourself when trying to slice it.
Feel my anger, please.
Poop, Drew.


I want to meet this kid. He's fuckin' awesome.