I want your BLOG inside me

It's really amazing how many people were trying to rip Rob's shirt off last night, but he managed to escape before it turned into a raunchy porno. John and I stayed at the med school party till a little after 1. I was angry at him for being such a little douche and making me leave when I hadn't downed 40 beers yet and there were still a ton of people at the party. Looking back at it now, though, Rob was right: the penis:vagina ratio at the party was about 50:1. Was a good time, though, and I did manage to yell out "golden shower," likely offending 80 percent of the people in the room.
We sat courtside at the UR bball game last night since the place was empty. I wish I had a few beers in me at the time so I would have had the courage to act like a complete jackass and run onto the court naked or something. No shooters on the team this year. Even when they're down 10 with three mins to go, they still pass the ball around the perimeter like it's a fuckin picnic.
I told my editor I wanted a raise last week. I know at most companies, you'd approach the subject with a little tact, but it's the fuckin H-P, so I literally just said, "Hey Greg, I want a raise." And apparently I'll be eligible for one in a couple weeks when I enter my second fun-filled year at the worst paper in the country. Once I get it, I'll probably give in and buy a Nano, but I'm still not understanding the whole Ipod craze. I'm pretty much always near my computer, I never exercise and I don't spend much time driving, so where the hell are you supposed to use the thing? Really, I'm just going to get one so I can pick up high school chicks at the mall. They'll be impressed.

Sadly, this is as naked Rob would get the entire night. Look at that body though. Smokin'. Sorry, that wasn't meant to be gay. Oh, and let's give a big blog out to Rob's dad, who is apparently an avid reader of this blog. Welcome, Mr. Becker. Hope you enjoy your stay.
Anyway, I don't know why I'm talking about Rob again. Lauren has started a blog, http://nameschangedtoprotecttheinnocent.blogspot.com/, and really, I'm very pleased at this. You're only my friend, damn it, if you have a blog. So, Lauren, congrats, you're in the club. You should feel honored.
Richmond has gotten plenty of bad press the last week, with a couple of families being murdered. Some really sick stuff. And it seems like someone from UR dies every other day. I blame it all on the fuckin' winter. It's absolutely terrible and it makes me cry for hours each day. Seriously, how can you not be depressed in the middle of January? If you're not, at least a little bit, I hate you.
You know what else I hate: People who don't use their turn signals on lane changes. God, I can't put into words how much this annoys me. I don't even care if you cut me off or hell, tap me from behind a bit, but if you don't use a signal, I am wishing evil things upon you, including death by fork stabbing.
I got my first Sheetz $25 reward card for spending a ton of money on my Sheetz credit card. It was pretty exciting for me, actually. I think now I get 3 percent back on purchases from those bitches, so I might walk around the gas station and offer my card for people to use. I don't know, maybe they save a buck and I get a little cash back. Haven't worked out all the details yet, but it's definitely a scam in the making.
John has been pissing me off lately. The bastard goes running everyday and now he's heading to bed around 9 each night. It's complete horseshit. He's a terrible roommate. I need to get out of this place. I'm moving into Lora Robins next week. That won't be shady at all.
I haven't taken my contacts out in a week. My eyes burn and chances are I'll be blind in a couple years. I'm glad I take such good care of myself. Alright, I've been waking up at 1 pm lately and I'm still tired. I need to change that. I'm going to try the Nyquil approach and if that doesn't work, I'm just going to bash my head against the wall until I'm unconscious. Good clean fun. I love you. Seriously, let's get naked.