Blog saw its shadow and some boobs

I made some comment to a few of the people in the ad department yesterday that my editor weighed more than his car. Which sadly isn't too far of a stretch. The guy drives a tiny Mazda Miata. I'm surprised the car doesn't flip over a few times when he gets inside. It's like watching a 15 year old try to fit into a crib. But right after I made the comment, I realized that the three women I was talking to are all pretty huge themselves. I shouldn't even joke around though, I've seen my future and it's not pretty. I was 130 lbs when I got to college. I'm at 162 today. I think part of that comes from my thyroid medication. Back when my thyroid was allowed to run wild and produce all this juicy stuff or whatever, it sped up my metabolism. It's weird, I still feel pretty skinny but then I look at those weight charts and realize that if I gained 10 more pounds, I'd be considered overweight. So considering that, I have switched to just 6 lbs of light mayonnaise on my sandwiches and today I only got 2 jr. bacon cheeseburgers at Sheetz. Actually, last night, I had a coupon for cheddar melts at Arbys and I was seriously thinking about getting 3 of them. I ended up just getting 2 simply because I decided I would have to kill myself if I ate more than that.
A 22 year old guy was shot a couple blocks away from my apt late last Saturday night. Seems like he was just walking to his car, was robbed and shot dead. Now that shit just ain't right. I was hoping it was some drug deal gone bad or something, but when it's just a guy getting into his car, well, let's just say I walk at a brisker pace now from my car to my apt at night. Maybe I'll buy a gun to keep under my pillow. Actually, I don't think I'm strong enough to even pick up a gun. Maybe if it were made of plastic or something. I could handle a water gun.
I watched Cry Wolf last night and it wasn't nearly as bad as I had expected. I also didn't realize pretty much the whole thing was filmed at UR. I thought the campus was just in part of it. Movie wasn't scary though, maybe because I know that the only scary things that happen at UR involve running out of beer or being attacked by an anorexic slut jacked up on cocaine.
I'm bringing my car into the mechanic tomorrow for him to check on a few things. I like how the guy asks me like 40 questions on the phone about whats wrong with the car. It's like, dumbass, that's why I'm bringing the piece of shit to you. I pay you good money, you drive the damn thing around and figure it out for yourself.
I'm sorry, but Drawn Together is a fuckin hilarious show. My roommates think it's retarded, and yeah, I can see how that could be case, but I have to say there are few shows that I really laugh out loud during and Drawn Together is one of them. The only thing funnier on television is probably the Special Olympics. But that's not on every week.
I have to go grab the lube and get ready to beat it to Conan soon. See you on Sunday when I hope to report on the mating rituals of the African dragonfly. That is, if I'm not shot before then. I put it at 50/50.