Want BLOG in your mouth?

There have been a lot of homoerotic photos on this blog. This one, however, easily takes the crown of "Absolute Gayest Photo Ever." Nice work, boys.
I haven't updated this bitch in a while, was a busy week at work and besides that, I just played a ton of poker and watched movies. So basically, I'm still terrible.
Solid weekend, though. Friday was birthday party festivities at Baja for Ellen. Didn't really know all that many people there, but alcohol took care of that awkwardness quite nicely. Damn bar starts closing down at 1:30. Really breakin my balls, Baja. Before we left, I drank a bunch of floaters. Most of them were warm, but there was at least one cold one. That made up for the fact that I probably have herpes now. I'll see a doctor soon.
I spent most of yesterday at UR hanging out with my brother. Great basketball game. The Charlotte coach got ejected and best of all, they had mascot basketball at halftime, which is by far the best halftime show ever. It was kind of unfair, though, cause Ronald McDonald, who molested a few kids before the game, was the only one that really had hands. Felt bad for the Arbys oven mitt. Not only did the thing not have any chance of gripping a basketball, but it was also retarded. It fell down and slammed into a chair at one point. That was enjoyable. Everyone booed Ronald McDonald when he won the MVP award because he was a fuckin asshole ball hog.
We went to a basketball apt. party afterwards, which one again was awkward until I downed a few cups of something called Pink Panty Droppers I believe. I'm pretty sure it had roofies in it, but my ass wasn't sore this morning so I'm not sweating it. I don't know anyone on the bball team anymore besides Steenberge, so I was just waiting for them to kick me out for being an old creepy dude. I think they eventually ran out of alcohol so we went to the Row. Man, it's embarrassing to write about this now. It seemed like a good idea at the time, though. Got into kappa sig, guess it was a slow night. Once that ended, we went back to the apartments. Now its OK for a couple of freshman to crash random parties, but I would have helped the guys who lived at this place kick my ass if they so chose. Weren't in there long though and then we just hung outside the apts for an hour talking to some hot Collegian chick. As we were standing outside, at some point a douche came stumbling out of the apt we had been in and walked a couple doors down. Well, either John or I made some comment about how the guy clearly had no idea where he was, and he heard it, of course. So he comes towards us and is like, "Were you guys just making fun of me? I heard one of you making fun of me." I explained to this dumbass that we were simply saying he definitely didnt live in the apt he had just walked into. I guess he didn't buy it so he went back in and returned with a few other dudes. It didn't seem like it was going to be pretty, but alas, one of the other guys gets over to us and says something like "Oh, you're Ryan Bonner. Great to meet you man." And with that, they all walked away. Pretty fuckin unreal. Seriously, guys, I'm a pretty obnoxious prick sometimes. If you had beat my ass, I wouldn't have written a letter to the Collegian about you. When we got back to his room, my brother hid his roommates weed in the refrigerator. Apparently, this morning, a bunch of pot heads trashed his room trying to look for it. These kids are insane. They wake up and the first thing they do is get high. The roommate has weed lollipops that he eats during class.
I got home early this morning and slept until 2. And then I dozed in and out of sleep on the couch until 7:30. So yeah, I'm pretty much fucked.

And on a completely unrelated note, I finally offer proof that Mike Clements is a fraud. Beneath that good guy persona is a raging alcoholic. This photo is from last year, taken at 4 am after Mike drank 3,000 beers. Now to this day he maintains that he "was just very tired." The evidence suggests otherwise, plus that pillow wasn't even there until I was able to get him to lift his head up for a second so I could place it there. Since that day, I have yet to see Clements even come close to being that tanked again. It was an amazing night. I so could have taken advantage of him. Clements had to read the Bible for six days straight to make up for his sinful behavior.
I bought the new James Frey book, My Friend Leonard, just before it was revealed that the smuck made up most everything that he wrote. Some people say, ah whatever, its still a good, compelling story. But I just can't read it without constantly wondering what parts might be real. I might send the book back for a refund because I doubt I'll ever finish it now. James Frey, you're an asshole. You and Ronald McDonald should die.
After a bunch of elections and school budget garbage, should be an easy week at work. Spending 10 hours on the couch today has worn me out, so it'll be nice to relax a bit this week. Penis.