Morning Wood...that's some hard stuff

Booyakasha! First up, thanks to everyone who responded to my desperate plea for comments. But I have to say, one comment bothered me a bit. "2049 -- Ryan announces he is gay to the surprise of absolutely nobody." Now I don't know who posted this anonymous comment, but that person should see me immediately for a spanking. Come on, I'm going to come out when I'm 67 years old? I'm pretty certain my penis will not be functioning at all by that point. Plus, no one that old is gay. Have you ever seen a couple of grandfathers walking around wearing tight pink tops and groping each other? All gays are under 40. Everyone knows that.
So yeah, I haven't posted in a week, partly because I did nothing worth speaking of and partly because I like to build up the suspense factor a bit. Ok, more of the first part. But I know you all sit there on your computers and refresh this page all day, you dirty blog vultures.
The weekend can be summed up as I drank a lot and did very little. While that situation is usually ideal, I may in fact need to check into substance abuse at some point. Went to Curbside on Thursday night, fill in the blanks, drink, poker, sleep. Preston came down for the weekend again, I think mainly because he wanted to drink all of the alcohol in our apartment and go to the Cellar and not have enough cash to pay for his meal, you asshole. I believe the Preston In the Box Photo pretty much captures the essence of the weekend. Friday night, I hung out with Preston and Lauren for a bit here, and then after they left, I apparently drank 5 more beers. And I also have apparently hit the bottom in my rapid decline into leading the most unhealthy lifestyle possible.
The UR bball game against GW on Saturday was a painful experience and I don't know if I can step foot in the Robins Center again. It's not so much that we lost, that was supposed to happen, but the GW fans overpowered the UR student section. They had all these prepared cheers and shit, it was the saddest night of my life. The retarded thing was the UR kids were chanting "Georgetown rejects" and the GW fans shouted "safety school." Really, people, anyone who took part in those chants should strip naked and sit on a cactus. UR and GW are very similar academically, in fact, I know a lot of people apply to both schools. It's fine to yell demeaning "We're smarter than you" chants to schools like Dayton and VCU (actually never yell at them because they probably have guns) but point is when UR kids chant "Georgetown rejects", they're saying a lot about their own school as well. The game itself was decent, actually had a shot to win it, only downer was that dickweed Ronald McDonald was there again. He was walking all over the stands looking for innocent children to show his McNuggets to. I guarantee that asshole will be in jail before the end of the year.
Preston, Big Pecker Rob Becker, and I actually went out late on Saturday night, during which time, I spent all of my money again, Rob drank six gallons of scotch and spilled some on himself leading to a nasty case of "Scotch Crotch". Later I played a poker tournament and stayed up until 8:30 a.m. I would be woken up a few hours later when John and Kristen began their daily "Make Loud Noises" game.
Yeah, so I'm definitely not getting a new computer at work which makes me continue to hate the people I work for. Company spent $7000 on a few new computers and upgraded software and it's actually made things harder on everyone trying to put the paper together. My co-worker Tom went off on the CEO, who makes money for sitting around all day. Actually, so do I, but nowhere near on the same pay scale. Sometimes people just snap at work and I gotta say, those are really enjoyable moments for me.
I bringing my camera to D.C. next weekend for Bender's party at which time I plan on taking enough photos to fill this blog for the next 10 years. Will there be balls on someone's head? Will Ed Bender cure cancer with his magical man seed? Can't wait to find out.
I also can't wait till tomorrow when I will go to work on a federal holiday (as least I think it's one) and not be able to contact any of the smucks I need to. Will I throw my computer or myself through a window? One of those will happen, stay tuned for the exciting results.