Paddling the Pink Canoe

Oh damn, almost forgot I had a blog. John seems to have deleted his entire blog recently, which is a good thing for the sake of humanity. And, yes, I'm out of photos again so it has come down to Dave Frost licking his own nipple. Actually, I'm surprised I didn't use this one earlier, it's pretty good quality and not gross at all.
So I take the train to NY on Thursday, of course train left an hour late and then we got stuck behind a freight train for a good hour near DC. Fuckin Amtrak is the biggest waste of taxpayer money I can think of. Never leaves on time, it's more expensive than flying and there aren't any naked chicks walking around offering their services. Oh, they don't have those anywhere? Rrright.
Had a great time once I finally made it home, which is clearly related to the amount of alcohol consumed. Actually, I think I spent close to $100 on booze over the weekend, which really can't be a good sign. On Saturday, we went wine tasting out in the Hamptons, which was pretty sweet, although I had planned to end up in the trunk for the ride home. It seemed to be heading towards that point after the first winery, where they gave out 13 tastes (that sounds so gay) for free and I drank a whole lot more than I was supposed to because my friends kept giving me theirs to finish. They know I have a problem. They also had free cookies there and that was quite arousing. The next place we went to ended pretty quickly, namely because the lady there was a giant whore bitch. We told her we had a group of 8 and she's like "oh, you need a reservation with groups of more than 6" which clearly led to me being a sarcastic prick and being all "oh hey, we'll just break up into groups of 4". As Bobby put it so nicely, I sounded liked a dick but I kind of had a point. But whatever, we herded out of there and ran over a couple of small children on the way out and headed to the next destination. That place was all crowded and although we did eventually get wine, I'm pretty sure I sobered up in between each shot glass sized serving. Looking back, we should have just bought a bottle of wine and pounded it instead of being cheap bastards. Overall, good time though, I'd definitely do it again when I'm home this summer, which looks more likely by the day. I've pretty much resigned myself to leaving Richmond in July and then leaving the country. To where or for what purpose? No fuckin clue, but its kind of exciting to have those kinds of possibilities out there.
Once we got back from the wineries, I put on my old man pajamas and prob could have passed out at 8 pm, but then my parents called and wanted me to come out with them to an old man filled bar with a bunch of my relatives. And since it doesn't take much to convince me to go to any sort of bar, I got re-clothed. Thankfully, after I was there a while, Sean Gil and Nikki showed up so I didn't feel like I was 50 anymore. My parents eventually drove us to another bar and when that place closed, I walked the mile and a half back home after I urinated on some lawyer's office. Oh, I stopped at 7-11 on the way back and bought some yankee doodles and devil dogs. Man, I eat too much, I'm getting so fat.
Ride back to Richmond yesterday was brutal. John's car is fucked, wheel shakes your whole body when you go over 60 so what should have been a 6 hour trip turned into a 8.5 hour trip. I'm pretty sure we came close to death a few times when the car decided to wander curiously off the road, but as John said, our fate was in God's hands at the time.
When I got home from work tonight, Dr. G and I went to Starlite for a beer. It was still like 75 outside and if there's one thing I'll miss about Richmond it's the outdoor bars on nice nights. But of course, the special was $5 pitchers and since John's a douche, he got a pint and I got a pitcher for myself. When I ordered, the waitress goes "Um, I'm going to need to bring out two glasses for the pitcher because of ABC regulations." What a cunt. Ah, so great to use that word. Cunt cunt cunt. Alright, it's late and no one is reading this garbage, except for Dan and Bender. Blog out.