RIP My Mangina 10/05 - 5/06

Dear Virginia DMV,

I am writing to express my deep anger with a letter I received in the mail today regarding the license plates on my vehicle. According to this letter, the plate "MANGINA" which was issued to me several months ago was done so in error. I have to say I was completely shocked when I opened this letter, with new plates also enclosed.
I have been a loyal Virginia DMV customer for 6 years now. I have regularly changed my personalized plates to reflect my interest in a wide array of activities, including but not limited to, rubbing myself, a good buddy of mine cockerjohnson and a hatred for a certain president. Now these ones were all approved with no problem, how you could allow me to have a plate that says "RUBME" with the words "fight terrorism" underneath but yet you find objection with my relatively harmless mangina? Over the past few months, I've grown very close to my mangina. When I've been down and out, my mangina has always been there to say, "Hey man, check me out, I kind of look like a vagina." And every time, that would brighten up my day. How you could take away something that special from a person is just a disgrace.
I've shown my mangina to dozens of people. Some have been disgusted, especially on days when I didn't keep him nice and clean, but all in all, most people have pointed and stared and wished they could have their own manginas out on display for every other driver in the Commonwealth of Virginia.
In your letter, it states that my mangina was reviewed by a committee of "culturally diverse individuals", but unless this took place while I was sleeping, which is probably against the law, I do not believe my mangina has ever been reviewed. Bruised? Sure. Burned? Yeah, that was a crazy night. But I will not stand for your countless lies as you attempt to strip me of my closest and dearest friend.
The letter also says that no personalized plates are allowed that have a combination of characters that could reasonably seen by a person viewing the plate as "intimate body parts." Look, DMV assholes, there is nothing intimate about my mangina. In fact, I'd say that most manginas can be classified as "the most unintimate thing" people have ever seen. I am tempted to send you douches a slideshow of photos of my mangina to show you just what you're taking away from me. My mangina and I have been everywhere together. On one trip to New York, some kids were laughing at us and I got out of the car and beat their asses. No one fucks with my mangina. Oh, and who can forget the time my mangina came out of nowhere and spit all over those guys who were about to attack me from behind.
My mangina has been there for me every step of the way. Sure, we've had our battles. He's been a real dick sometimes. And he's been a little too close to my ass sometimes, but man, I wouldn't trade those moments for anything.
I know when you wrote that letter stripping me of my mangina, you probably did not realize the extreme emotional, and physical, damage you would be inflicting. You can't just rip off a mangina and slap on something new, you bastards. At this point, he's really a part of me. Do you really expect me to put a screwdriver near my mangina?
I think the worst part of this whole ordeal is that you cocksuckers not only want me to remove my mangina, but afterwards, I have to send you the remains. For god sake, at least let me keep him near my bed, in my pants, so I can cherish the memories.
But as I am a law abiding citizen, I will follow the directions in your letter and mail you my mangina.
Take care of him. Cherish him and love him, just as I did everyday we were together. Don't feed him too much and never, ever pull him too hard.
I know you're just doing your job, DMV people, but I hope my mangina fuckin' spits all over you. And it gets in your eye.

Yours truly,

Ryan