Vaginal Rejuvenations

You know what's terrible? When you go to get a haircut and get the fattest chick in there. As she's cutting your hair, her gimoungous knockers are brushing against your arm, your back, your balls. It's always so awkward and strangely sexual, not in a good way. I'm generally a fan of girls rubbing their boobs on me, but when it happens at the hair cuttery, I generally have nightmares for a few weeks. Really, though, getting a haircut from anyone, fat, short, dumb, is an erotic experience. They pretty much face-rape you. So yeah, I did that today.
I wish I hadn't broke my blog. I managed to get rid of that annoying white box on top of the page, but in the process, it seems I fucked up everything else, namely, the gay sidebar has fallen to the bottom. For some reason, I suspect that will never be fixed.
Preston was down this weekend, which I probably don't need to say anymore, since that's usually guaranteed unless he has some incestuous obligations with his cousin. We managed to get down to Richbrau when a med school chick came by to pick up Rob. We had no problem being those drunk assholes in the backseat. As per usual, I dropped $30 there, which included a $3 cover. Hey Richbrau, if you're going to charge a cover, how about we make sure the place isn't full of penises. I felt like I was at a gay stripclub out on the dance floor, luckily I had my trusty butt plug in place. Rob also scolded me at one point, when I making obscene gestures near med school people, who apparently don't appreciate infantile humor. Ordered Chanellos at 3 am. We considered walking there since it's about 6 bucks more for a pizza when it's delivered, but after much deliberation, we decided we wanted to live another day.
Went downtown again last night, this time to Sine with Clements and a couple UR girls. With my wallet just about empty, I had the ingenious idea of bringing a flask into the bar. Bought three glasses of Coke for a buck each and then added the medicine underneath the table. It was a bit shady, but I'm pretty sure I will be doing it again next weekend.
Things have settled down at work, there were no fights last week, which is progress. And we actually got hi speed internet in the office, don't know how the hell that happened, but I'll take it. On second thought, there was one minor fight, but I was too tired to try to win it. I wrote a story on how these morons at a high school resodded the baseball field a week before the season was going to start and now there won't be any home games this year. It was a rare instance where I put some effort into a story and I was quite satisfied with the finished product. But when I came in on Thursday morning, the best quote in the story, a kid on the baseball team saying "it kind of sucks to be a senior and not have any home games" had been changed to the oh so pussy-like, "a senior said it was unfortunate to not have home games." Yeah, because that doesn't change the meaning at all. Apparently the sports editor, who is usually a cool guy, told Greg that using the word sucks might get the kid in trouble. But hey, you know what, it's my job to report the news, not to worry about the consequences for some 18 year old whose parents might spank him.
My muffler broke and now it just hangs there, with the tailpipe sticking out the side of my car. It's not really problem until I go over a hill or something and the bastard drags alone the ground and makes me people in the area turn around and cringe. I've tried taking the thing off myself, but I'm as good with cars as I am with acting in a socially acceptable manner. I might just wait for the muffler to fall off on its own, that seems inevitable at this point. I just feel bad for the guy driving behind me on I-95 when that thing comes flying off my car. Let's all pray for no injuries. At least not severe ones.
I finally booked this trip to London next month with my family. I'm paying for the whole thing at this point and hopefully my parents will pay me back at some point. I don't really mind, though. I have some cash to burn, plus this will give me more favorite son points to add to my already hefty lead in that category. Sorry, John.
Blockbuster is really breakin my balls. I was supposed to receive Brokeback on Wednesday. I had to postpone the big gay man party and that's not cool.
This is boring. I quit.