Being Old and Worthless is Awesome!

The job hunt is officially over. I packed up my UR diploma and some other good stuff and shipped it off to Korea this morning. The job I took isn't great, in fact, I would have turned it down a few months ago, but it will have to do. It is in Seoul and the hours, 2-10, are ideal for someone who likes to peruse lesbianic pornography during the early morning hours. I'm probably looking at a departure date of around Oct. 1 and I think I'll need to make two trips into the city to the korean consulate before then, which means I'll have to go on the fuckig train, more on that monstrousity later. It came to the point where I just needed to take a job and get over there. I think I over thought the whole thing after reading all these internet discussion boards. They all say exactly what you should demand for a job and nothing less. Problem is there are very few jobs that have all these great things and the ones that do go to the teachers with experience and huge tallywackers. So there's some good parts and some pretty bad things about my job, but really, I'm looking forward to making the best of it. I'm usually a pretty negative person, but I can't imagine this being a bad experience. So that's that and Korea is pretty much setup so I can now sit back and relax for a few weeks. What, you say I've already been doing that for two months? Yeah, well, fuck you. You wish you were me. I went to bed last night today at noon. Right.
If there's been one experience over the last few weeks that will cause me nightmares for years, it was PukeOn Train Night. First off we made the terrible decision to take the train to Bayside for a party at Krystle and Felicia's apt. The train to get there involved about nine connections and took at least an hour and a half. Obviously people would need to get shitty for the night to not be so shitty. Things were fine until late night when we went out to a bar in Queens. It was there where my hatred for Koreans jumped exponentially. Elliot kept handing everyone drinks and if there's one serious problem I have, it's that I can not physically turn down free alcohol. To me, it is a serious sin. Now if we had gone to this bar without Elliot, there's no doubt I wouldn't have drank anything else, I was already ready to take my underwear shorts off and run around in traffic. There were jager shots and carbombs involved and I apparently poured a slurpee on bobby on the walk back to the train station. Within 5 minutes after the train started moving, I threwup all over the place. It wouldn't have been so terrible if most of it didn't get all over my clothes. And we still had another two hours on the train. We then missed the transfer train at Jamaica so I was sprawled on the floor there for a while. During the final leg, we sat right across from a huge puddle of vomit that actually didn't come from my body. I'm still not sure why we sat there. I got home at 630 am, slept until 6pm, couldnt eat anything, and then went back to bed for the night. I swear, I've drank a bit, but that was the worst night/hangover of my life. I hadn't thrown up from alcohol in 4 years and I definitely never spewed all over myself. So point of the story is, I'm a fucking moron, Elliot should be shot and the Long Island Railroad is my own personal hell.
For all my terrible luck finding a job, that was all made up by Joey Porter and the Steelers last week. I found a sportsbook that was offering a risk free bet, you bet 1100 on the steelers to cover the spread against the dolphins, they win, you get 1000, lose and they refund the bet amount within a couple of days. I got locked in at -5 for the steelers before big ben died so i thought i was fucked. Then the Dolphins were up by 3 with 6 minutes to go in the fourth quarter. Pit scored a TD to make it a 4 point lead and then with 3 minutes left, they had a FG try that I was certain was my last shot to cover. The dbag missed and I cried a lot. The Dolphins has no timeouts, even if they ran out of downs, Pit would just kill the clock. Joey Porter pulled the miracle though a few seconds later, intercepted a pass returned it for a TD, bingo a grand in the bank. It was one of the most exiciting nights of my life. Gotta say though, a bit disappointed that no one else took advantage of the offer. Online gambling is big money, people, get your heads in the game.
Maybe I'll go somewhere or do something exciting during the next few weeks. Nah. The couch will miss me too much.