Can you spot the real Asian?

Dan found out recently that he was adopted. That dude in the red shirt has come forward as his father. They will see each other for the first time next month during a special edition of Maury Povich, "So you thought you were American? Well, guess what dumbass, here's your Chinese dad!!"
Yeah, so I haven't blogged in a while. Whatever. I do what I want. I am in pure Richmond cruise mode right now, just counting the days until I can tell my boss to go blow himself and get out of this place. I'm set on heading to South Korea now in August, hopefully, as I just can't ignore the money at this point. If it were two years ago and I had just graduated from college, I'd probably go to Bangkok, but I'll be 24 in a week and I feel at this point, I have to be doing things that aren't going to require me to send my bank overdraft fees every week. Also, apparently, I may be able to do some freelance reporting work in Seoul, which would be killer for the resume. As usual, I've had a ton of free time, but I'm still a waste of life and haven't applied to any schools yet. It's supposed to be a joke getting a job over there, but I'm really trying to make sure I'm in the center of the city, which narrows down the prospects.
I went to the UR Garden Party on Thursday, which is basically just a whole bunch of old rich white people getting tanked and eating good food. Plus me. Well, there were maybe 10 people there who were under 30, so it was quite awkward and i found myself conversing with way too many people who graduated in 1950. But I did make friends with a chick who works in the advancement office at UR and she invited me out to dinner with a few people who just graduated. That's all boring, but the great part was that the dinner and a ton of wine ended up on UR's tab. Now, that is a bit disturbing, but I surely didn't give a fuck, I just wish I hadn't eaten so much at the garden party, because I could only force down a bowl of soup at dinner. And a couple lines of coke.
Finally went to the verizon store last week to get the phone i put in the washing machine, because i'm a fucking idiot, fixed. The phone wasn't activated since I'd been using an old one for a while that actually works. Obviously the dumb bitch at verizon wouldn't have any of that common sense. She said they don't repair phones that aren't activated. That's right, if you break your phone and want verizon to fix it, for the love of god, make sure you keep it activated. It doesn't matter that it got tossed around the washing machine for an hour, it's got to be active. Defintely don't try to use another phone, for that would ruin everything. I half-assed argued with this lady, who told me it would cost 20 bucks for her to activate the broken phone. To which I said, "You are telling me I have to pay you $20 to push a button on that keyboard?" She says, "Yes, you have to pay for that service." I would have strangled this girl if I were strong enough to finish her off before her coworkers could pull me off her. Eventually, I walked over to a radio shack and found internet access. So i switch the phones and head back to verizon. This time some shaggy haired dude is working the counter. I hand him the phone, he takes one look at it and says it has water damage, it can't be fixed. Yeah, I just gave up at that point. Now I'm thinking, why the fuck did that first lady not tell me there was water damage? Unless she's retarded, which may very well have been the case, she must have known it had water damage. Fuck, I'm pretty sure the guy knew the second I stepped out of my car with that "I dropped my phone in the washing machine and I'm now going to pretend it just stopped working" look on my face.
Entourage has got to be one of the most overhyped and overrated shows out there. I just don't get the appeal, what the fuck is it? A drama, a comedy? Cause it's not a very compelling drama and it's just not funny enough to be a comedy. I watch it, probably in large part because everyone else does, but at the end of every episode, I always end up thinking, 'Eh, that was OK." This new show on after Entourage, Lucky Louie, is pretty hilarious, though. Now this is a show I'd actually look forward to watching each week. Oh, also, the Sopranos season finale was such a blueballed piece of trash. Every time you thought someone was going to get castrated or beat in the head with a pipe, the show pussed out. Really, how the fuck do you end a season of the Sopranos with everyone sitting around the Christmas tree? That would be like if Jack Bauer had a knife on a terrorist's throat and he suddenly dropped it and said, "Eh, it's just not worth it. Run away, man. Just go."
Life tip of the week: Never do a Jagerbomb at 1:30 am. It will likely lead to a violent rash of online gambling lasting until after sunrise.
P.S. I like how when I spell check these entries, the word "fuck" comes up about 6,000 times. My mom would not be proud.